An Open Letter to Guys,
(especially the I’m-a-good-guy guys)

Please don’t watch Twilight. Because it’s not real.

And I’m not talking about werewolves and vampires. I’m talking about love.

Throughout the film Jacob pursues Bella. She denies that she loves him. She pushes him away. But he is relentless, finally conning her into kissing him. And she relents. She doesn’t hate him for the kiss; she admits that she loves him (though it’s not enough).

Here’s the problem: I’ve seen this a dozen times before. You think that if you just love her enough, if you’re patient and pursue her she will come around. She will admit she loves you and it will all have been worth it. But I’m telling you, she won’t.

She does not love you. She does not want to be with you. Give up and walk away.

It doesn’t matter if (you think) you’re better for her than the guy she’s with. Or even just that you’d be really good for her, whether she’s with someone else or not. It doesn’t matter that you’re a great guy and she’s missing out. Let her live with that regret. She will not come around; will not return your love.

Because I’m sorry but you’re not Taylor Lautner.

Which is not to say there is anything wrong with you. There is a girl out there who appreciates that you’re a good guy, who enjoys your attention and affection. Give her the time and energy you’re wasting on this other girl.

Yes, we keep telling these stories of guys who pursue girls relentlessly and she learns her lesson and discovers she loves him. It’s because girls do want to be pursued. The crucial key to this equation is she wants to be pursued by the guy she wants to be with.

If you miss that element then you’re wasting your time. If she wants to be with you then have fun, make a big game of it.

If she doesn’t want you pursuing her then she doesn’t want to be with you. Walk away. now.

If you can’t tell the difference, well, then I can’t help you.