Immortals

Rating: 1.25 of 5  

Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Immortals. But I did not like it at all, which is why I haven’t seen it again now that it’s opened.

I’ve heard visually the effects are good (though they’re about the only thing). Since I saw an early cut I’m giving it the benefit . . . → more

Beastly

Rating: 1 of 5  

How many critics, do you think, used the title of this film to describe the film itself?

The performances are atrocious; just so painful and awkward. I almost started to list the actors, but that would take took long because really – Every Single One of Them was bad.

The writing was . . . → more

Red Riding Hood

Rating: 1.5 of 5  

Going in, this movie had a lot stacked against it. I don’t like Catherine Hardwick. I don’t like Amanda Seyfried. I did not expect much.

And really, my expectations were met. The one bright spot was Michael Shanks in a small role. yay! Billy Burke was also really good.

Other than that, . . . → more

Never Let Me Go

Rating: 1.75 of 5  

As much as I like to see science fiction movies outside the expected tropes of the genre I wouldn’t recommend this one.

There was an interesting mystery that initially drew me in. I wanted to understand what was going on, so the story kept me going for a while. But once answers . . . → more

Fame

Rating: 1.5 of 5  

It’s kind of hard to score a movie like this, because all of the elements are different (though, sort of, they shouldn’t be which is why it comes out so low).

Stylishly directed, this isn’t so much a film as a series of performances. And the singing and dancing and singing are . . . → more

The Last Airbender

Rating: 1.5 of 5  

This has already been out for a week and the reviews have been horrible, so you don’t really need to hear from me. But, in case you’re curious, here’s a reason why…

Fundamentally, I think the biggest flaw in this film is that M. Night Shyamalan stayed too close to the source . . . → more

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Rating: 1.25 of 5  

I had high hopes for Transformers 2, I’ll admit. The trailer promised sharp, breath taking action, a little humor, robot fights, guy and girl running hand in hand, a bit of a deeper mythology and the expectation of a happy ending.

I think it was probably too much to expect any sort . . . → more

Twilight

Rating: 1.25 of 5  

Cinematically flawed, and in frustrating and easily avoidable ways that I unequivocally blame Catherine Hardwicke for, and a little bit Summit for hiring her.

Directing:  

I think the biggest problem is they made a movie for the fans. And you can’t do that and expect to get a good film. I think . . . → more

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Rating: 1.75 of 5  

Really there’s very little I can say about this movie, because there’s very little movie to say anything about. The characters are one dimensional. There is virtually no story (and I’m saying that about one of the Mummy movies. Wrap your head around that.) There’s a lot of action.

At first I . . . → more

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Rating: 1.75 of 5  

slowest, most boring movie EVER. I was so disappointed. seriously, I fell asleep during it. Granted, it was only for about two minutes but still; it’s a movie you can fall asleep in. And Jesse James is a dashing and exciting figure from American history. Why would you take an exciting story . . . → more