Quote Archive

Pam: When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don’t blame the child; he didn’t know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, ‘Drive, kid.  I trust you.’

— Pam, The Office

My first choice, Jack Bauer.  But he’s unavailable, fictional and overqualified.

— Dwight, The Office


The How I Met Your Mother quote of the week:
Hat.  We thought of Native American headdress before hat.

— How I Met Your Mother

Sam: We’re not working for the mandroid!
Ronald: You shut up. I ain’t talking to you. I don’t like you.
Sam: Fair enough.

— Sam, Supernatural

Sweets: ’cause I’m Mr. Adventure.
Hodgins: I thought you were Mr. Sneaky-Ninja-Killer-Assassin but hey a guy can’t be picky in this side kick market.
Sweets: Nope.

— Bones

Major General Felts: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated on my base.
Shawn: Is there another type of idiocy that you would be more comfortable with?

— Psych, You Can

Shawn: I knew it! Only for the last 11 seconds, but still

— Psych, Let

Henry: Do you know how dense this forest is?
Gus: Dense enough for a werewolf to run amok and swallow me like a rolo.

— Psych, Let

Shawn: Canada is one of the top 50 countries in the world.
Gus: And how many countries are there?
Shawn: At least 50. Maybe more.

— Psych, Extradition II

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